This guy has no idea

Here's an article written quite some time ago which is somehow still on the internet about the chronology of the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Because I am totally gullible to think excessively about frivolous things, the article provoked me. Yet, I completely disagree with many of the assumptions of the article and would like to put forward a FBDO chronology of my own.

The Film's Ten Major Time-Sensitive Events:

1. Sears (Willis) Tower trip
2. CBOE trip
3. Art Institute trip
4. Lunch at Chez Quiz
5. Cubs game (no earlier than the 3rd inning)
   
6. German heritage parade
7. Stop on the side of the road to check on Cameron
8. Swim in Sloane's pool
9. Go back to Cameron's and trash the Ferrari
10. Ferris walks Sloane home (explicitly ends at 6pm)
    

A Step-By-Step Examination

• Preliminarily, all calculations assume that Ferris knows exactly what he has to accomplish and is busting his ass trying to get it all done in time. Because Ferris is portrayed as more of a cosmic force than a teenage kid, this seems reasonable. (Another interesting teenage cosmic force - Zack Morris apparently has the ability to control space-time by calling "Time Out!", making him more powerful than many, if not all, fictional superheroes. The teen-god trope is taken to its broadest extreme in Haruhi Suzumiya.)
  
• Jeanie leaves for school at 7:45am. Ferris immediately calls Cameron, hacks into the school's computer system, and fucks around at home before Cameron arrives. This could plausibly take an hour, putting Ferris at 8:45am.
• Cameron and Ferris trick Ed Rooney, so by the time Ferris picks up Sloane, it's probably about 9:30am.
• Ferris speeds the 25 miles down the Dan Ryan from Northbrook to the Loop, taking 30 minutes, including the time it takes to tip the parking attendants. It's 10am.
  
• Ferris gets to the Sears (Willis) Tower and takes a very rapid trip. This is plausible because very few other people appear to be touring the Tower at the time. He arrives at the CBOE, where there are also no lines, by 10:45am. Taking a brief moment to reflect (doesn't really seem like Ferris's style except to bemoan the drudgery of the place), he heads to the Art Institute and arrives by 11:15am.
• Realizing there's a lot to do, they check out La Grande Jatte and the Chagall windows and leave, departing by noon. Presuming that Chez Quiz is somewhere in Lincoln Park between the Art Institute and Wrigley (a precursor to Charlie Trotter's?), lunch begins by 12:30 and ends at 1:15.
  
• Presuming a typical 1:20pm start, Ferris arrives at Wrigley just after the first pitch. The baseball game provides John Hughes with the greatest flexibility, as the only concrete information we are given comes when the pizza guy tells Ed Rooney that it's the third inning when Ferris catches a foul ball. So, Ferris could have left Wrigley as early as 2pm. However, assuming Ferris stayed at least a little longer, let's say that Ferris, being a force for good and not really caring about the Cubs (Hughes himself is a Sox fan) leaves the game before it ends at 3pm.
• They get back down to the Loop for the German heritage parade by 3:30 and Ferris sings a couple of songs. Let's say they're done by 4pm.
• Getting back to the garage by 4:15, they drive back to Northbrook. Including 15 minutes to care for Cameron's mental health, it's now 5pm.
• Swimming at Sloane's and reviving Cameron takes half an hour. It's 5:30.
• The entire series of events ending in the Ferrari's destruction takes another half an hour, putting us at 6pm.
• Sloane lives near Cameron and the walk takes a few minutes. Here we are given more concrete evidence; Sloane's watch reads 6pm. So we are forced to cut Hughes a bit more slack and say Ferris leaves the baseball game slightly earlier than 3pm. From here, the chronology is completely plausible and Ferris makes it safe at home in bed no later than 6:15.
  

So while I commend the guy who I've linked above on his close attention paid to the film, I think my analysis is superior based on knowledge of Chicago geography and some slightly more plausible interpretations of events. It would have been tough, but Ferris indeed could have done all of these things in one day if he were strictly on the ball.

It's kind of weird to think that a kid as chill as Ferris could be so strict about his time in one day, but he's clearly driven and really smart. Or maybe he held some sort of time-freezing powers akin to Zack Morris (but different in that everyone is still moving while time stands still). Anyway, all of this is clearly irrelevant because you have to give the benefit of the doubt to John Hughes in order to enjoy the film. I mean, thinking about this is about as reasonable as asking yourself if it's realistic to create a woman to do your bidding using a computer.

Also, check out this link for more great FBDO reflections.