Pit Stereotypes

• The Cute Girl: You don't have any business being in the pit, but you survive because every guy follows his instinct to protect you. Always safe from bodily harm of a violent nature, but a prime target for sexual advances.
• The Jock: You definitely don't care about the band but only about running into other people at maximum speed. Distorted guitars are an excuse for knocking down some geeks.
• The Needless Stage Diver: Dude, you're 275 pounds - don't jump from there, we won't be able to catch you. Ouch, you totally smacked me in the head with your shoe. So don't blame me if I take it off of your foot and toss it at the other side of the stage.
• The Guy With Glasses: Okay, so ethics demand that I try to make some space for you while you scour the ground for your glasses which are already probably smashed beyond all recognition, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.
• The Fat Girl: So you're probably smashed up against the front of the stage and really like the band, but just because you push backwards doesn't mean that I'm going to respect your personal space any more than anyone else.
  
• The Supertwins: Yes, if you interlock your arms and spin around, you'll gain enough momentum to clear the pit. Good job. I'll be looking out for an opportunity at a kidney shot later.
  
• The Skinny Kid: I admire your moxie, but I'm only going to lift you off of your back a few times before I give up.
• The Indignant Edge-Guarder: The pit grows and shrinks at its own pace. You are not entitled to your spot even if you're standing completely still.
• The Legit Punk: I could really feel the Knox Gelatin when your spike poked under my eyelid and I think your bracelet might have pierced my skin that one time. I'm definitely too scared to run into you on purpose.
• The Bouncer: Dude... nobody's bleeding yet... everything's fine.
• The Eight Year Old: You'll be a scene legend someday, but I heard you kids still have a soft spot in your skull or something, so please stay out of my way.