I'll never be able to review like Robert Christgau

Here's his assessment of Enema of the State by Blink-182, an album that I appreciate more all of the time, and mostly on Robert Christgau's terms:

"Ignore the porn-movie cover except insofar as it conveys terror. These guys are so frightened of females that they turn down sure sex from one hussy on grounds of name-dropping and reject another for being too quick with the zipper. There's no macho camouflage--girlophobia is their great subject. And boy, have they worked up some terrific defenses. If preemptive jealousy doesn't do the trick, there's always suicide, or abduction by aliens. Yet note it well--because they're out front about their little problem, "Going Away to College" is the love song the Descendents put Green Day on earth to inspire."

Such pith! Amazing.