2009 is the year of indie adaptations of kids' books

Here's the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are, which comes out in October. I probably read that book. I probably owned that book. But the book was not beloved to me and in my memory, only a gray blur comes to mind. So, while this trailer is probably meant to target people in my demographic from several angles - indie director, indie band, childhood memories - it doesn't fully succeed for me personally. But it probably does for people who like Spike Jonze or liked the book a lot. I always knew that Arcade Fire song was meant for a trailer, though.

Fantastic Mr. Fox apparently intends to pull at the same heartstrings. I'll definitely be going giddy over that one, even though that particular Dahl novel never really made an impact on me at a young age. I wouldn't be surprised to see a couple other films pop up over the next 18 months that follow this curious little mini-sub-genre forming.

Random thoughts on "Born Like This"

• This album is definitely in the Vaudville Villain trope of grit and darkness. Little to none of the lighthearted attitude of many of the other albums pops up. Maybe that's the effect of taking a couple of years off.
• The rhymes are incredibly dense, as usual, but upon the first few listens, a few nice lyrics pop. I expect this one to reward multiple close listens, as most other DOOM albums.
• Raekwon sounds kind of quiet on his verse... like he was worried about being too loud or something.
• I don't know if I like the tracks that were leaked earlier best because of the familiarity factor or if it's because they're the best.
• Goes by "Villain" for the most part now instead of DOOM.
  
• Solid overall, but I was kind of expecting more.
  

Krzysztof Kieślowski is the Anti-David Lynch

Lynch:
Surreal, confusing, phantasmagoric; willful concealment of meaning.

Kieslowski:
Concrete, real ethical issues; upfront with themes and meaning.

This guy has no idea

Here's an article written quite some time ago which is somehow still on the internet about the chronology of the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Because I am totally gullible to think excessively about frivolous things, the article provoked me. Yet, I completely disagree with many of the assumptions of the article and would like to put forward a FBDO chronology of my own.

The Film's Ten Major Time-Sensitive Events:

1. Sears (Willis) Tower trip
2. CBOE trip
3. Art Institute trip
4. Lunch at Chez Quiz
5. Cubs game (no earlier than the 3rd inning)
   
6. German heritage parade
7. Stop on the side of the road to check on Cameron
8. Swim in Sloane's pool
9. Go back to Cameron's and trash the Ferrari
10. Ferris walks Sloane home (explicitly ends at 6pm)
    

A Step-By-Step Examination

• Preliminarily, all calculations assume that Ferris knows exactly what he has to accomplish and is busting his ass trying to get it all done in time. Because Ferris is portrayed as more of a cosmic force than a teenage kid, this seems reasonable. (Another interesting teenage cosmic force - Zack Morris apparently has the ability to control space-time by calling "Time Out!", making him more powerful than many, if not all, fictional superheroes. The teen-god trope is taken to its broadest extreme in Haruhi Suzumiya.)
  
• Jeanie leaves for school at 7:45am. Ferris immediately calls Cameron, hacks into the school's computer system, and fucks around at home before Cameron arrives. This could plausibly take an hour, putting Ferris at 8:45am.
• Cameron and Ferris trick Ed Rooney, so by the time Ferris picks up Sloane, it's probably about 9:30am.
• Ferris speeds the 25 miles down the Dan Ryan from Northbrook to the Loop, taking 30 minutes, including the time it takes to tip the parking attendants. It's 10am.
  
• Ferris gets to the Sears (Willis) Tower and takes a very rapid trip. This is plausible because very few other people appear to be touring the Tower at the time. He arrives at the CBOE, where there are also no lines, by 10:45am. Taking a brief moment to reflect (doesn't really seem like Ferris's style except to bemoan the drudgery of the place), he heads to the Art Institute and arrives by 11:15am.
• Realizing there's a lot to do, they check out La Grande Jatte and the Chagall windows and leave, departing by noon. Presuming that Chez Quiz is somewhere in Lincoln Park between the Art Institute and Wrigley (a precursor to Charlie Trotter's?), lunch begins by 12:30 and ends at 1:15.
  
• Presuming a typical 1:20pm start, Ferris arrives at Wrigley just after the first pitch. The baseball game provides John Hughes with the greatest flexibility, as the only concrete information we are given comes when the pizza guy tells Ed Rooney that it's the third inning when Ferris catches a foul ball. So, Ferris could have left Wrigley as early as 2pm. However, assuming Ferris stayed at least a little longer, let's say that Ferris, being a force for good and not really caring about the Cubs (Hughes himself is a Sox fan) leaves the game before it ends at 3pm.
• They get back down to the Loop for the German heritage parade by 3:30 and Ferris sings a couple of songs. Let's say they're done by 4pm.
• Getting back to the garage by 4:15, they drive back to Northbrook. Including 15 minutes to care for Cameron's mental health, it's now 5pm.
• Swimming at Sloane's and reviving Cameron takes half an hour. It's 5:30.
• The entire series of events ending in the Ferrari's destruction takes another half an hour, putting us at 6pm.
• Sloane lives near Cameron and the walk takes a few minutes. Here we are given more concrete evidence; Sloane's watch reads 6pm. So we are forced to cut Hughes a bit more slack and say Ferris leaves the baseball game slightly earlier than 3pm. From here, the chronology is completely plausible and Ferris makes it safe at home in bed no later than 6:15.
  

So while I commend the guy who I've linked above on his close attention paid to the film, I think my analysis is superior based on knowledge of Chicago geography and some slightly more plausible interpretations of events. It would have been tough, but Ferris indeed could have done all of these things in one day if he were strictly on the ball.

It's kind of weird to think that a kid as chill as Ferris could be so strict about his time in one day, but he's clearly driven and really smart. Or maybe he held some sort of time-freezing powers akin to Zack Morris (but different in that everyone is still moving while time stands still). Anyway, all of this is clearly irrelevant because you have to give the benefit of the doubt to John Hughes in order to enjoy the film. I mean, thinking about this is about as reasonable as asking yourself if it's realistic to create a woman to do your bidding using a computer.

Also, check out this link for more great FBDO reflections.

Dazzle Ships is underrated and the last great OMD album

So, I guess I'm predisposed to like Dazzle Ships. I mean, I enjoy pseudo-totalitarian themes in art, synth pop, and baroque pop. (I once wrote about Heartbeat City as the epitome of baroque pop, but I think that article has vanished somewhere on the internet.) Regardless, I genuinely believe that Dazzle Ships is a very good album and is certainly better than anything OMD has released since. I really admire some of the more experimental-type tracks which are interspersed with the regular pop-type songs. Telegraph in particular might be as good as any song OMD has ever made, and that includes Enola Gay. I particularly enjoy the crazy tone that the multiple tracks give to Andy McClusky's voice.


Junk Culture is not a bad album but pretty much represents OMD beginning to atone for their more experimental side with a long series of pure pop albums. Architechture and Morality is clearly the best OMD album, but this one is more experimental while retaining a lot of quality tracks. Dazzle Ships deserves more love than it gets. Oh, and, Of All The Things We've Made is just as touching if not moreso than Souvenir. So mad points for that.

Coolness Hierarchy of Commonly Known Bears

Ok, so everyone these days is thinking about the bear market. I feel that real, actual bears are getting overlooked amid the frenzy. Here are several famous other kinds of bears, listed in my order of preference.

1. Polar Bear
   What's not to love about the polar bear? The world's most adorable bear is also probably the world's most vicious and toughest bear. Only thing this guy can't survive is global climate change but, uh, I guess we're working on that. Pretty much king of the hill in every conceivable way.
   
2. Grizzly Bear
   Also a really classic and great type of bear, but slightly below the polar bear because of the whole Arctic factor. Still one of the very best bears.
   
3. Chicago Bears
   I've pretty much always been a fan of the Bears' style of play through the years and I think it matches up quite well with what I think a member of the ursine family would do if it ran a football team - imposing defense and a strong ground game with a modicum of passing. Bears don't really take to the air that much.
   
4. Gummy Bears
   Gummy bears are one of the only solid-sugar type candies that I will eat. Many other styles of these candies are coated with sugar, and that's kind of weird. Some are excessively sour, which has its place, but I'm not into it that often. Gummy bears, when soft and fresh, are consistently delicious and pleasing, particularly if you stick with well-established brands. They also now come in vitamin-enriched forms, continuing the long tradition of tricking kids into taking vitamins.
   
5. Black Bear
   The black bear is not a bad bear, but he just looks kind of stupid. It definitely lacks the ferocity of the grizzly or polar bear. How can you take an animal whose nose and ears stick out so ridiculously seriously?
   
6. Berenstein Bears
   Even though I read most of the books that were published through about 1990, I never really got the Berenstein Bears. There was never that quirky hook that made books like "Where the Sidewalk Ends," Dr. Seuss, or even "Arthur" worthwhile. They were just kind of a deprived kid's neutered Simpsons while dressing weirdly.
   
7. Bear Grylls
   Although I couldn't do most of the things he does, Bear Grylls is still a pretty boy. His accent, good looks, and whining while eating snakes just render him intolerable.
8. Bear Bryant
   Never beat Notre Dame, Alabama fans still secretly bitter about it.
9. Panda Bear
   Pretty much the most overrated bear there is, the panda kind of sits around all day looking moderately cute, if you're into the panda sort of thing, eating bamboo. I think a bear should be fearsome, above all else, so the panda totally fails in this regard. Fans love its squeezeable physique, I just see it as weak.
   
10. Red Panda (not really a bear)