Sports Notes

Apparently, first and third base coaches have to wear a helmet during games next year.  I get it, since a coach got hit by a ball and died, but this seems like an overreaction to me.  Just like John Olerud always looked like an idiot wearing a helmet on first base, coaches wearing helmets on the field will look like fools and I'm not happy about it.

Talking heads [other than Tina Weymouth, but including David Byrne] are speculating that by signing Derek Anderson, the Cleveland Browns are entrusting him with their future and sitting Brady Quinn's ass on the bench for another year.  I'm not so sure.  The Browns have no first round picks; look for them to trade Anderson for some picks and christen #10 as the new QB.  Edwards and Winslow like Brady more, anyway, and I mean just imagine how much EAS Myoplex he's been drinking...

The Cardinals front office took quick action in dismissing Scott Spiezio.  I approve.

Lastly, congratulations to Juan Gonzalez, the [temporary] Cardinal, for taking Johan Santana deep during a minor league game today, thoroughly owning the $135.7-million dollar man.  His line?  2 IP, 4 H, 3 ER.  Welcome to the Senior Circuit, Johan.

Michael Clayton

;or, 120 minutes of George Clooney looking very dissatisfied

Major Hollywood thriller boxes to be checked:

- Criticisms of major American institutions

- Morally/ethically ambiguous protagonist

- In medias res

- Overdramatized, though shiningly current representations

- Hard stares, overwhelming tones of gravitas

That said, I did enjoy the film. Also, honestly, perhaps the 'overdramatic' characterization is mere wishful thinking. I mean, I certainly hope I'm not as dissatisfied with myself as Clooney's character in eighteen months. Despite a few wandering and useless subplots and an overall lack of believability, Michael Clayton was engaging and fun to watch if not quite as important as it seems to believe itself to be. But damn if Clooney doesn't look really upset throughout the entire thing.

Shady red goatee or not - I'm not a fan

Scott Spiezio is wanted for a hit and run DUI...  After dealing with substance abuse last year.  I hope for the best for this guy, but if he's going to be a liability on the team, he should be cut loose.

[St.L P-D]

Does this thing actually exist?

Ladies and gentlemen, meet the North Pacific Gyre, location of the world's largest floating waste dump.  Reminds me of an exhibit on the future's dirty water at the St. Louis Science Center.

Just For Fun

Scattered thoughts on Be Kind Rewind

While I did enjoy this film, I couldn't help but feel that Gondry was pulling his punches throughout the entire feature.  Hints of his incredible visual imagination pop through here and there, but save for a few particularly notable scenes, the mad cardboard genius is kept under wraps.

From a thematic perspective, the film is somewhat stronger.  Universal or shared culture is very now.  However, if you're looking for something to make you cry like Gondry's other films, don't look here.  

So I guess this isn't very descriptive, but it would not be inaccurate to say that I expected a lot more from the film than I got.  I dislike Jack Black and think that Mos Def mumbles way too much, so that could have influenced my experience... but Gondry is still awesome so at the end of the day this gets a thumbs up from me.

I finally watched Bachelor Party

The process of watching Batchelor Party has been long and complicated.  From a very early age, I acknowledged that Bachelor Party was your typical 80s comedy but with Tom Hanks.  However, in an almost [almost] comedic fashion, the film has evaded me for nearly eight years.

The first time I ever encountered Bachelor Party was in the basement of my friend in tenth grade [I think] where my Korean friend saw the VHS tape and decided to borrow it.  I immediately realized that the tape was a Tom Hanks movie and therefore not porn and that he was wasting his time.  However, every time I thought about renting that video from Blockbuster since then, my efforts have been foiled [credit it to either the incredible morality or perversity of Vienna].  Even for the past two years I've been a Netflix subscriber, it's taken until now for the movie to get to me.

However, last night, I finally watched Bachelor Party.  

And lo, it was exactly, exactly, the slightly above medicore 80s comedy that I expected.  And here is a shotgun review.

First, Tom Hanks is a top rate actor and in Bachelor Party, his charisma shows through.  However, his surrounding cast is simply awful.  Most of the supporting actors seem to be chosen based on the quality of their bodies [this includes women and men], and it is pretty unnerving.

The one actor who I recognized besides Tom Hanks was the student villain from Revenge of the Nerds [a film which still costs $15 new on Amazon, which is a fucking crime] minus his braces.  That isn't a good sign.  

This is not even beginning to mention the fact that I've favored the interpretation of the Bachelor Party Bachelor Party in the Bachelor Party universe.  If at my actual bachelor party [or a bachelor party thrown for my closest friends] there is actually bestiality, some shit shooting a crossbow, or a suicidal drug addict, it's all over.  Dude, Tom Hanks' character was just so tolerant.

Ultimately, Bachelor Party is an emotionless guide as to what not to do when you get married and is worth of three stars but just barely that.

And Tawny Kitaen is doubleplushot.

Courtesy of Nathan Rabin

"Knee-jerk Bush bashing is a fixture of pretty much every rap show I've ever attended, which makes me wonder what will happen if Obama is elected President.  Will the instant applause line "Fuck George Bush" be replaced by "Make some motherfucking noise if you're cautiously optimistic about Obama's Presidency yet concerned that, like Jimmy Carter before him, he will ultimately disappoint his core constituency and not follow through on some of his stirring campaign rhetoric in the face of partisan bickering and the need to placate a broader spectrum of voters!  Aw yeah!"

[av club]